Big Door Problem and Fowl Play

     More Letters From Paradise


        Big Door Problem
Almost every morning, as is my custom, I go to our exercise room to do my thing.  When I arrive I have already done some exercises, which were shown to me at the Rehab Hospital of the Pacific. It's amazing what you can do with only a stool and a chair! 
Arriving this morning I found the door wide open. This is in violation of the new rules adopted by the condo board. This was the result of a fight between three residents over the question of the door being closed or open.  I must mention here that my occupants were the usual, an Australian woman and a Chinese woman. When I brought the matter to their attention, the Australian lady (Marlo, by name) remarked that she thought that the movement of air from the hall was important. Then Quan, the Chinese woman, unleashed a barrage of Chinese mixed with English.  Having a very limited knowledge Chinese, I came to understand that she was of the opposite opinion. You haven't seen anything unless you have seen a really pissed Chinese woman. I explained to them it was for their own safety, and the room is supposed to be air-conditioned.  Marlo quietly left, and Quan moved off to lift some weights. The door remained closed, and I wonder if in the morning, is my life is in danger? 

            Fowl Play

The morning paper carried a story about city chickens. Here is a short condensation of what it said: 
Some residents are complaining about noisy chickens. There is a city ordinance passed in 2000, that allows people to keep two chickens per household. Chickens making noise continuously for 10 minutes, or intermittently for a half-hour, are in violation of the law. A $60,000 contract was made to Animal Haven to trap and remove the birds. Three warnings are given, and then the matter is turned over to the police.  Do you suppose the police are tired of chicken?  Must be, as there are 400 complaints per month, and 60% of the crimes remain unsolved.  Fines range from a low of $50. up to $1,000, and 30 days in jail. What I want to know is where are my two chickens?

                Aloha
                Grant