Mr. Fuzzy Britches

      More Letters From Paradise
          Mr. Fuzzy Britches
First, let's get one thing straight, my name is not Mr. Fuzzy Britches, or even just plain Fuzzy Pants. My name is Mai Tai, and I am named for a popular drink here in Hawaii. I sometimes wonder the way people name dogs.

I like my new home, it's high in the air with a great view of the ocean. My house is just the right size, with windows, a zipper roof and a zipper door. One time recently I did something bad, and the Mr. unzipped my roof, and dropped me in. He zipped it up, and I calmly walked out the door. Sure fooled him.

I am sometimes put in my home when they think I have been bad. But it's no  big deal, because that is where I sleep, on the floor alongside Mr. and Mrs.

The food is pretty good here, but the treats are even better. I know two ways to get them. First, the easy way. Just do something cute, or just make yourself adorable. And it is easier on the legs.The second way is a bit more difficult. You have to chase a damn ball down the hall, and return it in your mouth. Did they expect me to bring it back in my paws? And then there is the matter of eyesight. Most people don't realize that all dogs are far-sighted. They can't see anything under their noses. Maybe they all should wear glasses. I saw a picture of a dog once, wearing glasses, and he looked crazy. But drop a crumb on the floor a long way from me and I can spot it in a minute. And another thing,anything that falls on the floor is mine!

I have heard of some people having a"chip on his shoulder." They can sometimes get rid of it. I can't.The Mr. and Mrs. took me to the Humane Society, where a chip was put under my skin between my shoulders. It didn't hurt a bit, and I'm glad so that if anyone steals me, I can be found. Now that's love.

I think I can get more treats from the Mr., but the Mrs. gives me the best belly rubs. She takes me out on the lanai in the morning so I can pee on a paper pad. So far I can poop on one place  on the lanai. I will be glad when I can go outside for my first walk. I have to have two more shots first.
It will be nice to pee anywhere just like other dogs. My Mr. says that the whole world is our restroom.

One thing I dislike is fireworks every Friday night. It makes me afraid. I shake  and my heart beats so fast. But the Mr. holds me tight and talks to me softly. It makes  me feel better.

There is one thing I am trying to figure out. The Mr. gave me an ice cube to play with. But it vanished after a time. I have checked the corner of the kitchen many times, but I can't find it. What do you suppose happened to it?                  

          Aloha
         Mai Tai