Just Ain't So

       More Letters From Paradise
            Just Ain't So
Question, what was one and a half foot ball fields long,(ca. 450 ft.),75 feet wide, and 45 feet high? It was also covered with pitch,and had a door in its side. You guessed it, Noah's Ark, as related in the book of Genesis.

I was moved to write this as the result of viewing one of the worst movies ever made. I would assign it the grade of D-----, but not an E, for fear that someone might think that E was for excellent. The movie in question is the recently released "Noah."Tonto and I had expected something of a spiritual nature, but what we got instead was very poor science fiction.

In hopes that this review will spoil it for you, I will only have to mention a couple of the movie's events. First, there are the so-called "Watchers," huge stone figures that not only protect Noah and his family, but they are the builders of the Ark. They were once stars that were turned into stone. They also battle a large computer-size army.

One other example is when the animals enter the Ark, they are put to sleep by a woman swinging an incense burner. I could go on and on, but this should suffice.

I thought maybe I had missed something while in seminary, the "Watchers" puzzled me.  It's been years, and I am growing old. So, I read Genesis chapters six and seven. No "Watchers" could be found. And, neither were any of the animals sleeping. God told Noah to put on the Ark enough food for his family and the animals.

Enough of this. I think I have made my point. Don't waste your money on this rotten film, better you should donate the price of admission to some charity.

          Aloha
          Grant

P.S. The measurements for the Ark are given in cubits. One cubit equals 18 inches. My thanks to Tonto for doing the math.